Dream of Me While I'm Gone
by Lale-Nivaru
Summary: Duo self destructs when caught. Seven years later, Heero decides it's time to take Duo up on his promise to meet him at Heaven's gates. ( DeathShounen-ai )


Dream of Me While I'm Gone  
  
I walk up the stairs to our apartment slowly, allowing the total darkness to consume me, allowing the harsh cold of winter rake at my skin, even through my coat. I look up to the landing of our home's floor and violently fight back the tears, he hasn't been there to welcome me home for almost seven years. I trudge up to our door in the gloomy shadows, unlocking the door, and letting myself in. I shut the door slowly behind me, locking it again. I hang up my coat, and take off my boots, and drop my keys on the small bench beneath the coat pegs.   
  
  
  
I walk into the living room, and stare around the spacious room, I can still see the reminders of him, even after all this time. I choke as I see the letter again, sitting on the coffee table before the couch, he'd left it there so I could read it after he'd gone on the mission. I sigh softly, the breath torn raggedly from my lungs, as I sit down on the couch and carefully open the envelope again, unfolding the letter again, for maybe the infinitinth time, I lost count long ago. The tears start to pour, dripping down my cheeks, from my chin, to my shaking hands as I read the words again.   
  
Morning koishii!   
  
Heero, I know I'm not there right now, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving, but I couldn't disturb my beloved sleeping angel, you looked like one at that moment you know. I almost cried, I hope you felt me kiss your lips, your forehead. I wrote this last night actually, I needed to word this perfectly, Heero, my love, please understand that if I don't return, it's because I was caught. Don't cry, oh my love, don't cry for me. I couldn't stand it if I was the cause of your tears. But I don't know if I will return this time. But don't worry! I'll always be with you, forever, and that's a promise, and you know I never lie.   
  
Heero, let me tell you how much I love you. There isn't enough words to describe my imense feelings, now that I think about it. I know you know I love you, beyond words. But I need for you to be aware of it because this may be the last time I get to tell you. Heero, forever, in the land of the living, and the land of the dead, in the lands beyond, I will love you, and be with you. Nothing will ever take me from you. I'll be waiting at heaven's gates for you, because you deserve that more than anyone, to be in Heaven's eternal salavtion.   
  
Heero I have to go now, but I want you to dream of me while I'm gone, I'll visit you forever more untill you meet me at Heaven's Gates, if I don't return to you. And I'm so sorry if I don't return, so very sorry to make you cry, so sorry to have caused you pain. Ai shiteru, koishii, eien ni. There I said it in Japanese too! Be proud! I love you, beloved, eternally.   
  
Never forget me Heero, my darling Perfect Solider,  
  
  
  
Duo  
  
Duo, my beloved Shinigami, my beloved sweet, caring, happy, childish koishii. How have I lived with out you for these dreadfull seven years? Oh that's right, off the dreams, the ones you visit me in. You know I can still feel you, taste you, smell you? Did you know I still see you, hear you, want you? I come home to an empty apartment, and find myself crying, you're not here anymore, you never will be again. I can't take it anymore! The war is over, peace has been achieved. Trowa and Quatre are settled together, and Wufei is happy where ever he is. The others were so distraught after you self-destructed that day, and at you're funeral, Quatre told Trowa he could feel you around me, giving me warmth. I felt you too, but I was too numb to really feel. Not anymore, it's not worth it anymore, you were my life, my color. I can't stand this colorless, joyless world anymore.   
  
I walk slowly to the bathroom, and find the unmarked black bottle of poison that Wufei had forgotten here, every Chinese warrior is to have poison, so that if they were caught, they'd die quickly, without betraying their leaders. I unstopper the bottle and return to the living room, the letter in my hand still. I sit down in the middle of the living room, I hear Quatre and Trowa out side both almost yelling at Wufei.   
  
"You left it with him!? You idiot!" Trowa nearly screamed.  
  
Quatre was banging on the door, sobbing. Wufei was pounding on the door, I know they'll kick it in. Trowa knows what I'm doing.   
  
I sigh happily, my soul almost free, my heart is light, for I will be close to seeing you, my Duo. Be waiting. I beg of you. I grip the letter so that no one will be able to break my grasp, even after my death, without breaking the bones of my wrist and hand. I hear Trowa now, cursing at himself, and me in Japanese. I smile a bit, a permanent smile, to be frozen on my lips for eternity. I place the bottle to my lips and down the contents quickly. The bottle drops and shatters as it hits the floor. Then I hear them come crashing through the door as I fall backwards. Darkness, consuming me totally, painlessly. Thank you Wufei, I knew he'd left it on purpose, he knew I would use far less subtle methods anyway. He was a good friend, even before Duo's death.   
  
I saw Quatre fall to his knees beside me sobbing violently, Trowa, crying himself, not looking at me. Wufei, had tears streaming silently down his cheeks, he mouthed the words 'Goodbye', and I drifted off to a sleep I would never wake from again.   
  
I drift motionlessly in a black void, and I wonder, will I go to heaven? Do I truly deserve it? I honestly don't know. But suddenly, when I fear all hope it lost, a brilliant bright white, cuts through the black and almost blinds my with it's pure brillance. I suddenly find my feet and walk into the warm, loving light. I start walking up steps, and it seems like forever before I reach the landing, I look up, squinting in the brightness, and it tones down, my eyes adjusting to the light. And a strangled gasp escapes from my throat, and I start to cry. There you stand, before me, dressed in a white robe, large downy feathered wings unfurled in a glowing splendor, a long braid of chestnut brown, over your shoulder reaching your knees, you look beautiful with your locks down your front and glowing. You out stretch your arms welcoming me, tears softly cascading down your pale cheeks, as I run to you, my arms out stretched, then they encircle your slim waist as you pull me to you. I sob softly, happily into your shoulder and you stroke my hair, keeping me to you tightly.   
  
"Heero! My love, my beloved, koishii, you...you shouldn't have thrown your life away for me!" You cry softly, incrediously. I look up at you, softly smiling.  
  
"Duo, you are my life. I died with you those seven years ago. I don't know how I wasn't here with you sooner." I say to you softly, and you crush me closer, if it was possible. You cry out softly, and kiss me lovingly, softly. And a warm, white light envelopes us, when your lips part from mine, the light fades and I'm clad in a white robe like you, and large downy feathered wings have burst from my shoulder blades, unfurling. We kiss again, and disappear into the vast white heavens of love, and warmth, forever together.   
  
You're right Duo, you met me at Heaven's Gates, you have never lied to me.   
  
~Owari~  
  
Author's Notes - Don't. Murder. Me. I was depressed therefore made this story. Yes, Duo died in a mission, self destruction, he got caught. Heero walked around in nothingness for seven years, untill Wufei had mercy and gave him a quiet way to death. Quatre and Trowa did want to throttle him, but they understood. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it even slightly. Please review. 


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